In our humanness, we’ve decided that there are little lies and big lies. Little lies are misleading statements we make about things we think are unimportant such as telling a friend we like her shirt when we don’t.
Big lies are also misleading statements, but on the scale of importance and impact, we think they’re things that really matter like telling your wife her butt looks big in her jeans.
We lie to protect ourselves from the discomfort that telling the truth would present for US. We justify our lies by telling ourselves we don’t want to hurt the other person, but the truth is we really don’t want to feel the discomfort we imagine we’ll feel when the other person reacts. Have you ever fessed up to something and after the fact thought, that wasn’t so bad or that didn’t go as bad as I thought? The other person’s reaction wasn’t as bad for you as you had anticipated.
Regardless of the size of the misleading statement, if it’s intended to deceive, it’s a lie.
We become indignant, even angry, when the cable company tells us we will have 50 Mbps download speed yet the WIFI crawls and the computer screen sits with that annoying spinning circle (did you know that circle is called a radial line throbber?). We complain to our friends or post about it on social media. We feel duped. We feel lied to!
We feel hurt if our spouse or partner lies to us.
We feel disappointed if our friends lie to us.
Oh, lawd, if our kids lie to us…
Am I the only one that imagines myself as the possessed little girl in the movie The Exorcist when I think my kids have lied to me? Head spinning 360 degrees and projectile vomit spewing uncontrollably. Sometimes, I’m Madea…is that any better?
Pull the thread if this thought…
If you’ve ever said to yourself…
I don’t have time.
I’m too old. I’m too young.
I don’t know how.
If only I had more money.
If only I could lose this weight.
I can’t do any better.
I don’t deserve more.
If I had more confidence.
If I had more experience.
If I was more creative.
If I only I could move to another city.
I don’t fit in.
If only we communicated better.
If you’ve ever made these comments to yourself, your brain is lying! You are lying to yourself!
Sometimes the lies are small and fleeting. If you’ve been telling the lie most of your life, you probably don’t even notice it.
The effects of lying to ourselves are far more detrimental to us than the lies we tell others, but we do it for the same reason. We are trying to protect ourselves from feeling discomfort. But is this protection we need?
Author, Jen Sincero, says “Humans are curious by nature, our desire to keep evolving physically, mentally, and spiritually is part of who we are, which is why settling, staying stuck in a rut, treading the lukewarm water of mediocrity (or worse) is so excruciating.”
Where is the anger? Where is the indignance?
I’m not suggesting a post on social media, but going all Madea on your brain wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Stop lying to yourself! Stop creating obstacles and roadblocks. Not evolving hurts so much more than proving your lies wrong. You can be uncomfortable now while lying to yourself or uncomfortable getting unstuck.
